I know that the sentence that I have written is wrong, but it is also true.
The he in that sentence is my ex. I do not wish him dead, it would just be easier.
My love for him has not stopped, and I have not moved on. The reason of the above sentence has nothing to do with actually wanting him dead. I know that if he was, my feelings would be the same. However there is one significant difference. I would not feel guilty for loving him, if he was dead. I would not regret carrying and savouring memories of the times that we spent together, if he was dead. I would have somewhere to go to cry, if he was dead. I would not be able to blame him for the decision to leave me, if he was dead. I would not harbour desparate hopes of us getting back together (and I know that I said no when he suggested that), if he was dead. I would be able to have stupid thoughts of how our future would have been, if he was dead. I would be be able to dream of children that will never be, if he was dead.
Okay, so there is very little logic in the thoughts that I have but my sentence stands... It would be easier if he had died. He has not, and I am working on moving on.
Remember that I don't regret a thing.