I am wondering if I am just a disappointment to just myself. Am I a disappointment to everyone else as well?
I never seem to live up to my potential. I never seem to meet my own expectations, or the expectations of others.
Some days it is all I can do to drag myself out of bed. Other times I am so dizzy with energy and enthusiasm that I don't know how I can breath. When I am like the I annoy even myself. I think about what I am saying and doing and just wish that I could stop, but I can't.
I sleep too much and wake up tired. Other times I can't sleep and go for days not sleeping well, not sleeping at all.
Some part of me just wishes that I could crash so that someone would have to pick me up. I always seem to be able to continue. Sometimes it is just one footstep after the other, with my feet dragging between the steps.
Right now I am just going to go to bed. I have a headache that won't go away because I'm not sleeping well. I have not had caffine since early afternoon for the last couple of days so it is not caffine that keeps me from sleeping. I just want to curl up and cry. Not over something specific, just over everything and nothing.
Life could be worse.