It's Monday and I have the day off. My sister has flown down to visit. She's in the shower and we are about to go out and about. I love this town. It's still cold, but the day is going to be fantastic. We may find a few things to do, a few things to eat and a lot of things to see.
I have to go to work tomorrow and I really don't want to do that. However, I know that it is this work that allows me to afford the life that I love.
Hope that you are enjoying your day.
I'm just over it all
Okay, so today I am over it all.
I am over working. Over struggling on the project to bring the team up to speed. Over worrying about the solution not meeting the business requirements. Over the long hours and the late nights and the decreasing focus on quality to hit the date that has been requested.
I am over being something I am not. I've been trying to be more that I am. More patient, more honest, more open. It's backfiring on me. Personality faults that I have always had are coming back and haunting me. Yes, I am judgemental. Yes, I am stubborn. Yes, I am too proud. Yes, I expect too much. Yes, I am fast to laugh. Yes, I overthink almost every thing. I can't help it. I am trying to calm it all down and to turn it off. It is not working as people still see me with old eyes. This means that my new actions aren't seen for what they are. Supporting someone and being encouraging can be seen as taking the piss. Don't compare me to what I was. I have always been painfully aware of my personality faults, and I am now activley working on them.
I am tired. I am plain tired. I need to sleep and revitalise. I am tired of working hard. I am tired of being alone. I am tired of being judged.
I just want to sit in the dark and cry. I can't do this as self pity only lasts in the light. If you take it into the dark, it shines and can't be fulfilled.
It's okay. I'll sleep, I'll recharge. The need to beat all challenges will return. It will return. It will return...
I am over working. Over struggling on the project to bring the team up to speed. Over worrying about the solution not meeting the business requirements. Over the long hours and the late nights and the decreasing focus on quality to hit the date that has been requested.
I am over being something I am not. I've been trying to be more that I am. More patient, more honest, more open. It's backfiring on me. Personality faults that I have always had are coming back and haunting me. Yes, I am judgemental. Yes, I am stubborn. Yes, I am too proud. Yes, I expect too much. Yes, I am fast to laugh. Yes, I overthink almost every thing. I can't help it. I am trying to calm it all down and to turn it off. It is not working as people still see me with old eyes. This means that my new actions aren't seen for what they are. Supporting someone and being encouraging can be seen as taking the piss. Don't compare me to what I was. I have always been painfully aware of my personality faults, and I am now activley working on them.
I am tired. I am plain tired. I need to sleep and revitalise. I am tired of working hard. I am tired of being alone. I am tired of being judged.
I just want to sit in the dark and cry. I can't do this as self pity only lasts in the light. If you take it into the dark, it shines and can't be fulfilled.
It's okay. I'll sleep, I'll recharge. The need to beat all challenges will return. It will return. It will return...
Smile
Smile.
You never know who is in love with it.
Smile.
A smile can lift the way you feel.
Smile.
Meeting a stranger's eyes in the street with a smile will often beget a returned smile.
Smile.
Sunshine on a cloudy day is a smile on a bad day.
Smile.
Start it small with the corner of your mouth and work up to including your eyes.
Smile.
It will be the smallest yet best investment you'll make all day.
Smile.
Life is too short not to smile as much as possible.
Smile.
I am smiling right now, for no reason, I just want to.
You never know who is in love with it.
Smile.
A smile can lift the way you feel.
Smile.
Meeting a stranger's eyes in the street with a smile will often beget a returned smile.
Smile.
Sunshine on a cloudy day is a smile on a bad day.
Smile.
Start it small with the corner of your mouth and work up to including your eyes.
Smile.
It will be the smallest yet best investment you'll make all day.
Smile.
Life is too short not to smile as much as possible.
Smile.
I am smiling right now, for no reason, I just want to.
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