Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you had made a different choice or a number of different choices? I do.
I sometimes sit and map out my life. I wonder what it would be like if I was a little different. I wonder what path I would be walking if I had taken the left branch instead of the right branch. I wonder what would have happened if I had taken the high road instead of the low road. I wonder what would have happened if the decisions that others made around me where made differently.
Without a doubt, I would be a different person. I would still have the same name, and I would still be the same age, but my challenges may be different. I wonder that if those decisions had been made, if I would be sitting here now thinking of this now.
Where would I like my life to be? What roads would I like to have turned left instead of right, or turned back instead of continueing.
Don't get me wrong, I don't regret my life and the things that are in it now. I would not go and change things to make it different. I like to sometimes imagine that it is different.
What if is something that I play once or twice until I start to feel a pang for the life that I never have had and never will have.
I wonder if the life that I now live is the life that I was destined to live. There are times when I want to be more than I am now, I just don't know how to go about executing such a dramatic life.
Sometimes I don't feel as if I can get the life that I have now into any specific order. There are things that I am unable to control. I am a person who values control, and yet in the most inopportune times I have no control. I hate this weakness in me, and would like to change it. I don't know how to do this.
Do you ever imagine what life would be like if it was destined to be different. I do.