All about me
I want tonight to be all about me. It's my birthday drinks. I never make a big deal about having a party or having drinks. Tonight I celebrate my 30th birthday with friends and want it to be all about me. This is the first time ever that I am having a party. Usually I'm lucky if I can organise a cake.
The girls at work spoilt me today. I had icecream cake and honey joys and everyone sang. Tonight I wanted to go out and drink with my friends.
My best friend is driving tonight. He won't be drinking with me. It's be ages since we went out and had a big night together. Usually I drive, but tonight when I am prepared to take public transport so that I can drink, he does not want to.
No I understand his feelings, and I know that he wants to show his lover a good time. I am happy to share my birthday. I've shared it with my twin forever, and I am happy to share it with others. For once, just once I don't want to share the good time. I want it to be all about me. I feel bad for wanting this. I think it's time for another drink. Worst case, I'll just drown my sorrows by myself. I'm prepared to pay for it in the morning.
Happy Birthday to me...
The girls at work spoilt me today. I had icecream cake and honey joys and everyone sang. Tonight I wanted to go out and drink with my friends.
My best friend is driving tonight. He won't be drinking with me. It's be ages since we went out and had a big night together. Usually I drive, but tonight when I am prepared to take public transport so that I can drink, he does not want to.
No I understand his feelings, and I know that he wants to show his lover a good time. I am happy to share my birthday. I've shared it with my twin forever, and I am happy to share it with others. For once, just once I don't want to share the good time. I want it to be all about me. I feel bad for wanting this. I think it's time for another drink. Worst case, I'll just drown my sorrows by myself. I'm prepared to pay for it in the morning.
Happy Birthday to me...
I just want to wish them well.
My world is filled with peace. A friends longterm plan is about to come to fruition. He is about to see the one that he dreams of. I cannot wait to see the way he smiles when he is being watched. I cannot wait to see the way he smiles when he thinks that he is not being watched.
I hope that all the plans and all the dream and all the hopes come true. It is deserved. If there is anthing that I could do, I would do it to ensure that these couple of weeks work out well.
There will not be much time for me to do anything. I think that it will be a quick hello and a fast goodbye. The first time that I will meet his new love will be at my birthday bash on Friday night. I don't know if drinking is going to help. Perhaps it will just allow the true person to explode into the spotlight.
I am nervous about meeting this significant other, and this is not my significant other.
It will be good. I wish them well.
I hope that all the plans and all the dream and all the hopes come true. It is deserved. If there is anthing that I could do, I would do it to ensure that these couple of weeks work out well.
There will not be much time for me to do anything. I think that it will be a quick hello and a fast goodbye. The first time that I will meet his new love will be at my birthday bash on Friday night. I don't know if drinking is going to help. Perhaps it will just allow the true person to explode into the spotlight.
I am nervous about meeting this significant other, and this is not my significant other.
It will be good. I wish them well.
I love Christmas
It's all about the sense of excitment. It's about the scent of tinsel. It's about crazy hats. It's about eating too much. It's about hot hot days. It's about summer. It's about friends. It's about family. It's about beautifully wrapped gifts. It's about the thought of the gift or the message of the card.
Is it little wonder that I am constantly disappointed with Christmas? It's a little bit anti-climatic...
Is it little wonder that I am constantly disappointed with Christmas? It's a little bit anti-climatic...
Work is all I seem to do
I need to fix my sense of need or my need of being needed.
Repeat after reading this... "The world won't collapse without me, the world won't collapse without me, the world won't collapse without me..."
I know it's true, you know it's true.
Repeat after reading this... "The world won't collapse without me, the world won't collapse without me, the world won't collapse without me..."
I know it's true, you know it's true.
Baby's are born
Tonight I found out that my friend has given birth to her second child. She now has the perfect little family happening. She has a husband who loves her, a daughter that is growing into an inquisitive child from a beautiful toddler and a new baby boy. I am so happy for her. It amazes me how quickly she her life has changed.
She is one of my unchanging friends. She is the kind of friend that I give endless thanks for. Nothing changes, and yet nothing stays the same. She has changed and I have changed and yet all the good things in our friendship has not changed.
I cannot wait to see her at Christmas. I cannot wait to tease her husband. I cannot wait to tickle her daughter and I cannot wait to hold her son.
She is one of my unchanging friends. She is the kind of friend that I give endless thanks for. Nothing changes, and yet nothing stays the same. She has changed and I have changed and yet all the good things in our friendship has not changed.
I cannot wait to see her at Christmas. I cannot wait to tease her husband. I cannot wait to tickle her daughter and I cannot wait to hold her son.
All good things must come to an end.
All good things must come to the end. the weekend is over and I still want it to continue. Okay, I went to work both days and so I have not had a break, but so many good things happened.
This weekend is coming to an end and so is Australian Idol.
November is almost at a end and that means that Christmas is nearly here. What's needed?
* Cards - check, ready to send
* Flights booked - check
* Gifts purchased - 90% check
What is left? It looks like my Christmas preparation is about to come to an end too. I'm wrapped about this....
This weekend is coming to an end and so is Australian Idol.
November is almost at a end and that means that Christmas is nearly here. What's needed?
* Cards - check, ready to send
* Flights booked - check
* Gifts purchased - 90% check
What is left? It looks like my Christmas preparation is about to come to an end too. I'm wrapped about this....
It's Saturday Night
And here I am. In PJ's, with washing in the washer and drying in the dryer. It's an exciting night in this household.
I'm tired and running on coffee. The work Christmas party was last night. I worked today. I voted today. I shopped and went to the markets. I've cleaned the bathroom and scrubbed the toilet. I've vacuumed the floor and mopped the tiles. I've cleaned the mirrors and tidied.
I'm ready for bed, but waiting for a load to finish.
It's a good, achey tired. I'm not complaining.
I'm tired and running on coffee. The work Christmas party was last night. I worked today. I voted today. I shopped and went to the markets. I've cleaned the bathroom and scrubbed the toilet. I've vacuumed the floor and mopped the tiles. I've cleaned the mirrors and tidied.
I'm ready for bed, but waiting for a load to finish.
It's a good, achey tired. I'm not complaining.
Far off friends
I have been emailing far off friends tonight. It's something that I am not good at. I am not good at calling. I am not good at texting.
Why, when I am a person of so many words, can I not put those words down to share with some of the people that I love most.
I have been trying to write the ways that I am a good friend. I can't find any ways that I am. I know that I don't tell people how much they mean to me I don't write letter, I don't send cards, I don't call and I don't text. I wait until the last minute to make contact when I am in town.
I am a good friend through my actions. I will go well out of my way for a friend.
I don't need to see my friends every day. In fact, it's better if I don't because I can be high maintenance and attention demanding. I grate on peoples nerves. I understand all of these things and make a point not to push myself onto others.
I love my friends dearly, and while I may not demonstrate this all the time, they know that I am there for them. They know that I love them and support all that they do. They know that when they need me I am there. I will walk for hours on a beach in the middle of the night so that they can clear their head. I have broad shoulders for them to cry on.
I love my far off friends because they love me even when I don't contact them. I love my far off friends because they continue to love me, just as I love them. I just hope that I bring to their lives a small part of the joy that they bring to mine.
I hope that I learn to become a better friend.
Why, when I am a person of so many words, can I not put those words down to share with some of the people that I love most.
I have been trying to write the ways that I am a good friend. I can't find any ways that I am. I know that I don't tell people how much they mean to me I don't write letter, I don't send cards, I don't call and I don't text. I wait until the last minute to make contact when I am in town.
I am a good friend through my actions. I will go well out of my way for a friend.
I don't need to see my friends every day. In fact, it's better if I don't because I can be high maintenance and attention demanding. I grate on peoples nerves. I understand all of these things and make a point not to push myself onto others.
I love my friends dearly, and while I may not demonstrate this all the time, they know that I am there for them. They know that I love them and support all that they do. They know that when they need me I am there. I will walk for hours on a beach in the middle of the night so that they can clear their head. I have broad shoulders for them to cry on.
I love my far off friends because they love me even when I don't contact them. I love my far off friends because they continue to love me, just as I love them. I just hope that I bring to their lives a small part of the joy that they bring to mine.
I hope that I learn to become a better friend.
Here
Where am I? Today I realised that am here. On certain days here is everywhere that I want to be. Somedays here is nowhere and I can't escape. Like everything, there are things that I love about being here.
The here that I am talking about is the here and now. It's about who I am, where I am, where I live and where I go. It's about who I am going to be, where I am going to be and who I am going to be with. It's about what has shaped who I am, the events that have marked where I have been and the dreams that indicate what I should be working about.
With the everyday things, I am relatively happy. With the things that are from the past, I am resigned. With the things from the future, I am unsure and fairly unconcerned.
I want to work towards somewhere else. I want to work towards being more than I am. I want to find the someone I need to be with. I want to change my career path to feel more contented.
I need to make a list, stick it on the wall and tick it off as things are achieved. To do this I need to decide where I am now, where I have been and where I reall want to be.
I've got to find a focus. I've got to define my goals. I have to learn to be more that I am. It's about the little things that are missing. I will continue to look for them and hold them close when they are found.
The here that I am talking about is the here and now. It's about who I am, where I am, where I live and where I go. It's about who I am going to be, where I am going to be and who I am going to be with. It's about what has shaped who I am, the events that have marked where I have been and the dreams that indicate what I should be working about.
With the everyday things, I am relatively happy. With the things that are from the past, I am resigned. With the things from the future, I am unsure and fairly unconcerned.
I want to work towards somewhere else. I want to work towards being more than I am. I want to find the someone I need to be with. I want to change my career path to feel more contented.
I need to make a list, stick it on the wall and tick it off as things are achieved. To do this I need to decide where I am now, where I have been and where I reall want to be.
I've got to find a focus. I've got to define my goals. I have to learn to be more that I am. It's about the little things that are missing. I will continue to look for them and hold them close when they are found.
Winter in November
Okay, it's just 2 weeks until Summer starts and today it is freezing. I hate being cold. Hate it hate it hate it. Must go to bed and turn on the electric blanket.
Days like today
So far this morning it feels that I am at some fabulous hotel. I slept in, woke up feel luxurious. The bed was warm and the air failing in through the window was cool and fresh. I lay in bed flicking through the TV channels.
I then went and had a really warm shower where my thoughts flowed.
I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a hot delicious coffee. Opening the fridge I helped myself to some fruit salad. I sat down, enjoying the silence of the house. I sipped my coffee... I picked through the fruit choosing the pieces that I wanted to sample next.
I thought of far off friends and the wondered about the things that they were doing this day.
Why did this morning feel like I was at a hotel? It may be all about the mindset of myself.
Regardless, I love days like today... I love the promise of today that this morning has provided, all shiny and bright.
I then went and had a really warm shower where my thoughts flowed.
I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a hot delicious coffee. Opening the fridge I helped myself to some fruit salad. I sat down, enjoying the silence of the house. I sipped my coffee... I picked through the fruit choosing the pieces that I wanted to sample next.
I thought of far off friends and the wondered about the things that they were doing this day.
Why did this morning feel like I was at a hotel? It may be all about the mindset of myself.
Regardless, I love days like today... I love the promise of today that this morning has provided, all shiny and bright.
What is it that I do.
I am trying to define what it is that I do at work. I need to know this so that when I look for other jobs, I'll know what I am looking for.
How do I work this out? So very much of what I do is based on the way that we do business. These skills and this knowledge will not transfer.
I need to decide if I want to look for a new job. If I do I need to define these things.
Ah a later problem.
How do I work this out? So very much of what I do is based on the way that we do business. These skills and this knowledge will not transfer.
I need to decide if I want to look for a new job. If I do I need to define these things.
Ah a later problem.
The wafting scent of the lily.
Last weekend my flat mate bought some flowers. In fact, he had a little bit of a flower overload. It's over a week since we were at the market. A week since the temptation to indulge in flowers. The house still has vases of flowers.
On the table is a bunch with white, pink and purple flowers. It's the flowers in the corner that are invading my thoughts right now. The irises have long since past their best and relegated to being a memory of vivid purple with white and yellow highlights.
The scent of the oriental lilies are strong and invading. I love the scent and I think that any woman who would ewar such a scent is full of confience. I would love to be able to wear this scent, but I think that it would be overpowering.
An oriental lily is beautiful. These are white with pink flush on the inner leaves. Stunning.
I wonder why does their scent remind me faintly of funerals?
On the table is a bunch with white, pink and purple flowers. It's the flowers in the corner that are invading my thoughts right now. The irises have long since past their best and relegated to being a memory of vivid purple with white and yellow highlights.
The scent of the oriental lilies are strong and invading. I love the scent and I think that any woman who would ewar such a scent is full of confience. I would love to be able to wear this scent, but I think that it would be overpowering.
An oriental lily is beautiful. These are white with pink flush on the inner leaves. Stunning.
I wonder why does their scent remind me faintly of funerals?
Want Want Want Want Want
I can't stop thinking about you.
I wonder if you are okay. I want you to tell me what is going on in your life. I want to know if you have recently walked in the rain. I want to know if you have laughed in the sunshine. I want to know if you have found all that you were looking for.
I want to know if you have meet your special someone. I keep waiting for a phone call that is never going to come. I keep wondering if you are thinking about me. I want to know about your day and I want to ask about your night.
I want to ask you over for a coffee. I want to catch up for a drink. I want to plan for a meal.
I want you to be my friend. I want to know that you are okay. I want to know that you are okay. I only want to know that you are okay.
I want you to know that I don't think of you all of the time. I want you to know that I don't dream about you each night. I want you to know that my life has moved on. I want you to know that I mean what I am saying. I want you to know that I am okay.
I wonder if you are okay. I want you to tell me what is going on in your life. I want to know if you have recently walked in the rain. I want to know if you have laughed in the sunshine. I want to know if you have found all that you were looking for.
I want to know if you have meet your special someone. I keep waiting for a phone call that is never going to come. I keep wondering if you are thinking about me. I want to know about your day and I want to ask about your night.
I want to ask you over for a coffee. I want to catch up for a drink. I want to plan for a meal.
I want you to be my friend. I want to know that you are okay. I want to know that you are okay. I only want to know that you are okay.
I want you to know that I don't think of you all of the time. I want you to know that I don't dream about you each night. I want you to know that my life has moved on. I want you to know that I mean what I am saying. I want you to know that I am okay.
When people want different things.
Sometimes we make things more complex than they need to be. Mixed messages and confused signals and misunderstandings ensure that we end up with the wrong people at the right place at the right time, the right people at the wrong place at the right time or the right people at the right place at the wrong time.
Hearts get broken, minds become confused and souls are bruised. In an instant everything can change. Two people heading for a common goal hit a crossroad and realise that it is all wrong. One can't go back and the other can't go forward.
If only we said what we meant. If only we meant what we said.
Hearts get broken, minds become confused and souls are bruised. In an instant everything can change. Two people heading for a common goal hit a crossroad and realise that it is all wrong. One can't go back and the other can't go forward.
If only we said what we meant. If only we meant what we said.
I'm feeling alone
Tonight I'm feeling alone and a little lonely.
I'm tired and emotional today and I don't know why.
My mum and my sister are overseas. My dad has gone bush and my brother is working nights. This means that none of my family are available to waste a while talking about nothing.
I have friends that I could call, but I don't have the energy to keep up my end of the conversations.
I'm tired and emotional today and I don't know why.
My mum and my sister are overseas. My dad has gone bush and my brother is working nights. This means that none of my family are available to waste a while talking about nothing.
I have friends that I could call, but I don't have the energy to keep up my end of the conversations.
I love to explore
I love to explore new places. I enjoy exploring on my own, but also like to explore with others. On the weekend I went exploring on my own. I would not mind exploring with someone else who would like to go exploring with me.
I miss having someone to spend the weekend with in a different town. I miss exploring the sites and having a slow breakfast on the Sunday morning. I miss pointing out the things that I find interesting and I miss having things pointed out by another.
I love to explore, and I love to see new things to me. This weekend I even explored a cemetry. For some strange reason I like to visit the graves of the long dead, but not the grave of those I know.
It's a strange and interesting quirk.
I love to explore. Where am I going to explore next? Where and when???
I miss having someone to spend the weekend with in a different town. I miss exploring the sites and having a slow breakfast on the Sunday morning. I miss pointing out the things that I find interesting and I miss having things pointed out by another.
I love to explore, and I love to see new things to me. This weekend I even explored a cemetry. For some strange reason I like to visit the graves of the long dead, but not the grave of those I know.
It's a strange and interesting quirk.
I love to explore. Where am I going to explore next? Where and when???
Quickly Quickly Quickly
Quickly Quickly Quickly
Too much for me to do
Quickly Quickly Quickly
I don't know what not to do
Hours and Hours and Hours
This is the time that spend
Hours and Hours and Hours
I don't know when my day will end
Quickly Quickly Quickly
Too much to do right now
Hours and Hours and Hours
I wouldn't it another way now
Too much for me to do
Quickly Quickly Quickly
I don't know what not to do
Hours and Hours and Hours
This is the time that spend
Hours and Hours and Hours
I don't know when my day will end
Quickly Quickly Quickly
Too much to do right now
Hours and Hours and Hours
I wouldn't it another way now
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)