Dear John
I have written "Dear John" letters to you before, but usually after you dumped me. Now we are talking and I'm confused.
I'm being totally painfully honest,ready commented on writing emails and deleting them before sending me another. Anyway, here it goes... I love you and always have. I loved you when we were together, I loved you even when I didn't like you and I loved you while we weren't in contact. However, I don't know if I am in love with you. I truely believe that this not knowing is a good thing. Now I know that loving you and being in love with you are two slightly different things. If we are to be together, I need to know that I, both love, and am in love with you. I don't doubt that I want you. I don't know what it will take for me to understand if I am in love with you. I don't think it is something I can decide the answer to without meeting up with you, If we started something more than friendship, more than friendship with benefits then I would have to fall in love with you. It has to be 100% to make all the angst and all the effort worthwhile.
I think that I need to have some ground rules, you may not need them but I do. I can't afford to become obsessive about you. This can't be like last time if it is going to be at all. I also can't be obsessive in my usual way until we both decide what should be or what won't be. So, I propose the following (which are open for discussion):
- We talk once per week until a decision is made
- We don't make a decison until we meet face to face
When I talk about making a decision, I think that there are a few. There is the decision not to move this any further forward than friendship, meeting is not a requirement.
I know that I need the following (which are not open for disucssion and are not about applying pressure for a quick understanding but about being open in regards to what I need):
- I need to understand why we broke up to determine if I can change the things I need to so that I don't repeat my same mistakes
- I need to understand your dreams and goals. I believe that you believe that in the past I stifled your goals and your dreams. I need to work out if I can be what you need me to be.
We have always been taught that one plus one equals two. What I want is a situation where one plus one equals one. This only happens when there is love.
Who knows what will happen? All you have to determine is what you have to lose. So, what have you got to lose?