I am worthy.
I Am Worthy.
I AM WORTHY.
And I deserve more
Monday
It's Monday and I have the day off. My sister has flown down to visit. She's in the shower and we are about to go out and about. I love this town. It's still cold, but the day is going to be fantastic. We may find a few things to do, a few things to eat and a lot of things to see.
I have to go to work tomorrow and I really don't want to do that. However, I know that it is this work that allows me to afford the life that I love.
Hope that you are enjoying your day.
I have to go to work tomorrow and I really don't want to do that. However, I know that it is this work that allows me to afford the life that I love.
Hope that you are enjoying your day.
I'm just over it all
Okay, so today I am over it all.
I am over working. Over struggling on the project to bring the team up to speed. Over worrying about the solution not meeting the business requirements. Over the long hours and the late nights and the decreasing focus on quality to hit the date that has been requested.
I am over being something I am not. I've been trying to be more that I am. More patient, more honest, more open. It's backfiring on me. Personality faults that I have always had are coming back and haunting me. Yes, I am judgemental. Yes, I am stubborn. Yes, I am too proud. Yes, I expect too much. Yes, I am fast to laugh. Yes, I overthink almost every thing. I can't help it. I am trying to calm it all down and to turn it off. It is not working as people still see me with old eyes. This means that my new actions aren't seen for what they are. Supporting someone and being encouraging can be seen as taking the piss. Don't compare me to what I was. I have always been painfully aware of my personality faults, and I am now activley working on them.
I am tired. I am plain tired. I need to sleep and revitalise. I am tired of working hard. I am tired of being alone. I am tired of being judged.
I just want to sit in the dark and cry. I can't do this as self pity only lasts in the light. If you take it into the dark, it shines and can't be fulfilled.
It's okay. I'll sleep, I'll recharge. The need to beat all challenges will return. It will return. It will return...
I am over working. Over struggling on the project to bring the team up to speed. Over worrying about the solution not meeting the business requirements. Over the long hours and the late nights and the decreasing focus on quality to hit the date that has been requested.
I am over being something I am not. I've been trying to be more that I am. More patient, more honest, more open. It's backfiring on me. Personality faults that I have always had are coming back and haunting me. Yes, I am judgemental. Yes, I am stubborn. Yes, I am too proud. Yes, I expect too much. Yes, I am fast to laugh. Yes, I overthink almost every thing. I can't help it. I am trying to calm it all down and to turn it off. It is not working as people still see me with old eyes. This means that my new actions aren't seen for what they are. Supporting someone and being encouraging can be seen as taking the piss. Don't compare me to what I was. I have always been painfully aware of my personality faults, and I am now activley working on them.
I am tired. I am plain tired. I need to sleep and revitalise. I am tired of working hard. I am tired of being alone. I am tired of being judged.
I just want to sit in the dark and cry. I can't do this as self pity only lasts in the light. If you take it into the dark, it shines and can't be fulfilled.
It's okay. I'll sleep, I'll recharge. The need to beat all challenges will return. It will return. It will return...
Smile
Smile.
You never know who is in love with it.
Smile.
A smile can lift the way you feel.
Smile.
Meeting a stranger's eyes in the street with a smile will often beget a returned smile.
Smile.
Sunshine on a cloudy day is a smile on a bad day.
Smile.
Start it small with the corner of your mouth and work up to including your eyes.
Smile.
It will be the smallest yet best investment you'll make all day.
Smile.
Life is too short not to smile as much as possible.
Smile.
I am smiling right now, for no reason, I just want to.
You never know who is in love with it.
Smile.
A smile can lift the way you feel.
Smile.
Meeting a stranger's eyes in the street with a smile will often beget a returned smile.
Smile.
Sunshine on a cloudy day is a smile on a bad day.
Smile.
Start it small with the corner of your mouth and work up to including your eyes.
Smile.
It will be the smallest yet best investment you'll make all day.
Smile.
Life is too short not to smile as much as possible.
Smile.
I am smiling right now, for no reason, I just want to.
the five people you meet in Heaven
This has to be one of the best books that I have ever said. The book is by Mitch Albom.
From the back of the book:
"All endings are also beginnings. We just don't know it at the time..."
On his eighty-third birthday, Eddie, a lonely war veteran, dies in a tragic accident trying to save a little girl from a falling cart. With his final breath, he feels two small hands in his - and then nothing. He awakens in the afterlife, where he learns that heaven is not a lush Garden of Eden but a plae where your earthly life is explained to you by five people who were in it. These people may have been loved ones or distant strangers. Yet each of them changed your path forever.
Quotes from within.
"...there are no random acts. That we are all interconnected. That you can no more separate one life from another that you can separate a breeze from the wind... Fairness," he said, "does not govern life or death. If it did, no good person would ever die young... Look at the mourners. Some did no even know me well, yet they come. Why? Did you ever wonder? Why people gather when others die? Why people feel they should? It is because the human spirit knows, deep down, that all lives intersect. That death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else, and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed. You say you should have died instead of me. But during my timeo n earth, people died instaed of me, too. It happens every day. When lightning strikes a minute after you are gone, or an airplane crashes that you might have been on. When your colleagues falls ill and you do not. We think such things are random. But there is a balance to it all. One withers, another grows. Birth and death are part of the whole..." Page 50-51
"Sacrafice is part of life. It's supposed to be. It's not something to regret. It's something to aspire to. Little sacrafices. Big sacrafices. A mother works soher sone can go to school. A daughter moves home to take care of her sick father. A man goes to war..." Page 97
All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like prisine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces beyond repair. Page 109
This book saw me shedding tears. I was sitting on the train and sobbing softly. I love this book. Anything that makes me feel and anything that makes me think about my beliefs is a great book. This book is so good, I may even read it again... and that really says something.
From the back of the book:
"All endings are also beginnings. We just don't know it at the time..."
On his eighty-third birthday, Eddie, a lonely war veteran, dies in a tragic accident trying to save a little girl from a falling cart. With his final breath, he feels two small hands in his - and then nothing. He awakens in the afterlife, where he learns that heaven is not a lush Garden of Eden but a plae where your earthly life is explained to you by five people who were in it. These people may have been loved ones or distant strangers. Yet each of them changed your path forever.
Quotes from within.
"...there are no random acts. That we are all interconnected. That you can no more separate one life from another that you can separate a breeze from the wind... Fairness," he said, "does not govern life or death. If it did, no good person would ever die young... Look at the mourners. Some did no even know me well, yet they come. Why? Did you ever wonder? Why people gather when others die? Why people feel they should? It is because the human spirit knows, deep down, that all lives intersect. That death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else, and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed. You say you should have died instead of me. But during my timeo n earth, people died instaed of me, too. It happens every day. When lightning strikes a minute after you are gone, or an airplane crashes that you might have been on. When your colleagues falls ill and you do not. We think such things are random. But there is a balance to it all. One withers, another grows. Birth and death are part of the whole..." Page 50-51
"Sacrafice is part of life. It's supposed to be. It's not something to regret. It's something to aspire to. Little sacrafices. Big sacrafices. A mother works soher sone can go to school. A daughter moves home to take care of her sick father. A man goes to war..." Page 97
All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like prisine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces beyond repair. Page 109
This book saw me shedding tears. I was sitting on the train and sobbing softly. I love this book. Anything that makes me feel and anything that makes me think about my beliefs is a great book. This book is so good, I may even read it again... and that really says something.
The Final Cliches - "The Surrendered Wife" Part V
When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability. - Madeleine L'Engle
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. - Anonymus
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. - Bill Cosby
If you mind isn't open, keep your mouth shut too. - Sue Grafton
People need loving the most when they deserve it the least. - John Harrigan
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. Brendan Frances
Sometimes it is a great joy just to listen to someone we love talking. - Vincent McNabb
The first duty of love is to listen. - Paul Tillich
It's great to work with somebody who wants to do things differently. - Keith Bellows
That's enough, and enough is too much. - Popeye
The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me. - Sloan Wilson
Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain. - Leo Buscaglia
Oh, I'm scared all the same! I just act as if I'm not. - Katharine Hepburn
How unhappy is he who cannot forgi e himself. - Publilius Syrus
There's always room for improvement, you know - it's the biggest room in the house. - Louise Heath Leber
Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts. - Arnold Bennett
If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living. - Gail Shelley
If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb
Rare is the personn who can weigh the faults of others without his thumb on the scal. - Byron Langfield
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. - Henry David Thoreau
We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls. - Mother Teresa
We seldom attribute, common sense except to those who agree with us. - La Rochefoucauld
Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as saying that women talk about their feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball. - Deborah Tannen
Politeness is the art of selecting amoung one's real thoughts. - Madame de Stael
Sucess in life consists of going from one mistake to another without losing enthusiasm. - Winston Churchill
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... You must do the thing you think you cannot do. - Elenor Roosevelt
The art of love is largely the art of persistance. - Albert Ellis
There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. - Aldous Huxley
To mature is in part to realise that while complete intimacy and omniscience and power cannot be had, self-transcendence, growth and closeness to others are nevertheless within one's reach. - Sissela Bok
Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. - M. Scott Peck
To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao-tzu
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. - Anonymus
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. - Bill Cosby
If you mind isn't open, keep your mouth shut too. - Sue Grafton
People need loving the most when they deserve it the least. - John Harrigan
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. Brendan Frances
Sometimes it is a great joy just to listen to someone we love talking. - Vincent McNabb
The first duty of love is to listen. - Paul Tillich
It's great to work with somebody who wants to do things differently. - Keith Bellows
That's enough, and enough is too much. - Popeye
The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me. - Sloan Wilson
Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain. - Leo Buscaglia
Oh, I'm scared all the same! I just act as if I'm not. - Katharine Hepburn
How unhappy is he who cannot forgi e himself. - Publilius Syrus
There's always room for improvement, you know - it's the biggest room in the house. - Louise Heath Leber
Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts. - Arnold Bennett
If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living. - Gail Shelley
If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb
Rare is the personn who can weigh the faults of others without his thumb on the scal. - Byron Langfield
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. - Henry David Thoreau
We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls. - Mother Teresa
We seldom attribute, common sense except to those who agree with us. - La Rochefoucauld
Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as saying that women talk about their feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball. - Deborah Tannen
Politeness is the art of selecting amoung one's real thoughts. - Madame de Stael
Sucess in life consists of going from one mistake to another without losing enthusiasm. - Winston Churchill
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... You must do the thing you think you cannot do. - Elenor Roosevelt
The art of love is largely the art of persistance. - Albert Ellis
There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. - Aldous Huxley
To mature is in part to realise that while complete intimacy and omniscience and power cannot be had, self-transcendence, growth and closeness to others are nevertheless within one's reach. - Sissela Bok
Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. - M. Scott Peck
To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao-tzu
Wise Words from "The Surrendered Wife" - Part IV
Knowledge of the self is the mother of all knowledge. So it is incumbent on me to know my self, to know it completely, to know it minutiae, its characteristics, its subtleties and its very atoms. - Kahlil Gibran
I cannot say whether things will get better if we change, what I can say is they must change if they are to get better. - G. C. Lichtenberg
All of us at certain moments of our lives need to take advice an to receive help from other people. - Alexis Cabrell
If a woman can only succeed by emulating men, I think it is a great loss and not a success. The aim is not only for a woman to succeed, but to keep her womanhood and let her womanhood influence society. - Suzanne Brogger
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything its cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more. - Erica Jong
Intimacy requires courage because risk is inescapable. We cannot know at the outset how the relationship will affect us. - Rollo May
The married are tose who have taken the terrible risk of intimacy and, having taken it, know life without intimacy to be impossible. - Carolyn Heilbrun
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. - Josh Billings
I cannot say whether things will get better if we change, what I can say is they must change if they are to get better. - G. C. Lichtenberg
All of us at certain moments of our lives need to take advice an to receive help from other people. - Alexis Cabrell
If a woman can only succeed by emulating men, I think it is a great loss and not a success. The aim is not only for a woman to succeed, but to keep her womanhood and let her womanhood influence society. - Suzanne Brogger
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything its cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more. - Erica Jong
Intimacy requires courage because risk is inescapable. We cannot know at the outset how the relationship will affect us. - Rollo May
The married are tose who have taken the terrible risk of intimacy and, having taken it, know life without intimacy to be impossible. - Carolyn Heilbrun
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. - Josh Billings
Remember This - "The Surrendered Wife" - Part III
The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances. We carry the seeds of the one or the other about with us in our minds wherever we go. - Martha Washington
There can be no defence like elaborate courtesy. - E. V. Lucas
The best care for anger is delay. - Seneca
You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. - Henry Drummond
Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them become what they are capable of being. - Goethe
Confidence is contagious. So is a lack of confidence. - Michael O'Brien
Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights, and see possibilities - always see them, for they're always there. - Norman Vincent Peale
It's better to have some questions that to have all the answers. - James Thurber
Each of us has his own little private conviction of rightness and almost by definition, the Utopian condition of which we all dream is that which all people finally see the error of their ways and agree with us. - S. I. Hayakawa
Fear is a little darkroom where negatives are developed. - Michael Pritchard
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha
Few things can help an individual more than to place responsibility on him and let him know that you trust him. - Booker T. Washington
Nature is unfair? So much the better, inequality is the only bearable thing. The monotony of equality can only lead us to boredom. - Frances Picabia
We commonly confuse closeness with sameness and view intimacy as the merging of two separate "I's" into one worldview. - Harriet Lerner
Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence. - Deborah Tannen
There can be no defence like elaborate courtesy. - E. V. Lucas
The best care for anger is delay. - Seneca
You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. - Henry Drummond
Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them become what they are capable of being. - Goethe
Confidence is contagious. So is a lack of confidence. - Michael O'Brien
Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights, and see possibilities - always see them, for they're always there. - Norman Vincent Peale
It's better to have some questions that to have all the answers. - James Thurber
Each of us has his own little private conviction of rightness and almost by definition, the Utopian condition of which we all dream is that which all people finally see the error of their ways and agree with us. - S. I. Hayakawa
Fear is a little darkroom where negatives are developed. - Michael Pritchard
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha
Few things can help an individual more than to place responsibility on him and let him know that you trust him. - Booker T. Washington
Nature is unfair? So much the better, inequality is the only bearable thing. The monotony of equality can only lead us to boredom. - Frances Picabia
We commonly confuse closeness with sameness and view intimacy as the merging of two separate "I's" into one worldview. - Harriet Lerner
Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence. - Deborah Tannen
Wisdom from "The Surrendered Wife" - Part II
You must be the change you wish to see in the world. - Mahatma Ghandhi
To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right - Confucius
Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Kahlil Gibran
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection. - Buddha
When nobody around you seems to measure up, it's time to check your yardstick. - Bill Lemley
Some women work so hard to make good husbands that they never manage to make good wives. - Anonymous
The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want. - Ben Stein
If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends. - Orson Welles
The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes. - Jonathan Swift
There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacArthur
One does not toss out the gold because the bag is dirty. - Buddha
The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has just done us a small favour wish that he might have done you a great one. - Russell Lynes
Welcome anything that comes to you, but do not long for anything else. - Andre Gide
I praise loudly, I blame softly. - Catherine II of Russia
The supreme happiness of life is he conviction that we are loved. - Victor Hugo
When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realise that my friends are my energy. - Anonymous
A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same. - Elbert Hubbard
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. - Dave Barry
To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right - Confucius
Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Kahlil Gibran
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection. - Buddha
When nobody around you seems to measure up, it's time to check your yardstick. - Bill Lemley
Some women work so hard to make good husbands that they never manage to make good wives. - Anonymous
The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want. - Ben Stein
If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends. - Orson Welles
The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes. - Jonathan Swift
There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacArthur
One does not toss out the gold because the bag is dirty. - Buddha
The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has just done us a small favour wish that he might have done you a great one. - Russell Lynes
Welcome anything that comes to you, but do not long for anything else. - Andre Gide
I praise loudly, I blame softly. - Catherine II of Russia
The supreme happiness of life is he conviction that we are loved. - Victor Hugo
When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realise that my friends are my energy. - Anonymous
A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same. - Elbert Hubbard
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. - Dave Barry
Quotes from "The Surrendered Wife" - Part I
To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence on becomes steadily the person one desires to be. - Anna Louise Strong
Our thoughts, our words, and deeds are the threads of the net which we throw around ourselves. - Swami Vivekananda
Virtue herself is her own fairest reward. - Silius Italicus
One's mind, one stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. - Mum
Some people find fault as if it were buried a treasure. - Francis O'Walsh
We all suffer from the preoccupation that there exists... in the loved one, perfection. - Sidney Poitier
Men are born to succeed, not fail. - Henry David Thoreau
You see an awful lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb man. - Erica Jong
When a man does not feel loved just the way he is, he will either consciously or unconsciously repeat the beaviour that is not being accepted. He feels an inner compulsion to repeat the behaviour until he feels loved and accepted. - John Gray
I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me. I have accepted fear as part of life, specifically the fear of change, the fear of the unknown, and I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the hear that says: turn back, turn back, you'll die if you venture too far. - Erica Jong
If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings. - Lisa Moriyama
Try to want what you have, instead of spending your strength trying to get what you want. - Abraham L. Feinberg
We are most deeply asleep at the switch when we fancy we control any switches at all. - Annie Dillard
The only thing worse than a man that you can't control is a man that you can. - Margo Kaufman
Wisdom is divided into two parts: (a) having a great deal to say, and (b) not saying it. - Anonymous
I often regret that I have spoken; never that I am silent. - Publilius Syrus
Our thoughts, our words, and deeds are the threads of the net which we throw around ourselves. - Swami Vivekananda
Virtue herself is her own fairest reward. - Silius Italicus
One's mind, one stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. - Mum
Some people find fault as if it were buried a treasure. - Francis O'Walsh
We all suffer from the preoccupation that there exists... in the loved one, perfection. - Sidney Poitier
Men are born to succeed, not fail. - Henry David Thoreau
You see an awful lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb man. - Erica Jong
When a man does not feel loved just the way he is, he will either consciously or unconsciously repeat the beaviour that is not being accepted. He feels an inner compulsion to repeat the behaviour until he feels loved and accepted. - John Gray
I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me. I have accepted fear as part of life, specifically the fear of change, the fear of the unknown, and I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the hear that says: turn back, turn back, you'll die if you venture too far. - Erica Jong
If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings. - Lisa Moriyama
Try to want what you have, instead of spending your strength trying to get what you want. - Abraham L. Feinberg
We are most deeply asleep at the switch when we fancy we control any switches at all. - Annie Dillard
The only thing worse than a man that you can't control is a man that you can. - Margo Kaufman
Wisdom is divided into two parts: (a) having a great deal to say, and (b) not saying it. - Anonymous
I often regret that I have spoken; never that I am silent. - Publilius Syrus
The Surrendered Wife
In summary - an interesting book with good basic ideas for a smooth relationship. A provocative title which is the only reason that I picked it up off of the shelf. A decent read with messages for a decent life.
I don't know if this is the most appropriate title. Part of me thinks that the title should be more like "The Empowered Husband". While I don't think that I will be applying to become a surrendered wife (I am not married, not even engaged to be married), I understand the attraction of the theory.
The Empowered Husband would also empower the wife. This book is not about becoming a doormat. This book is about reducing nagging, asking for help and letting go of control.
As a girl child, we are brought up to become independent self-succicent woman. We are taught that we can have it all, that it is just ours for the taking. This works well when are are alone and need to be independent. This is the time when we need to be doing things for ourselves and making all decisions. We have control because we must have control as there is no one to share the responsibility with. As we continue to live, we learn to work for ourselves, to think and to decide all of the things that need deciding. The problems come when we are no longer alone.
When we are in a relationship things change. We continue the way we are. We make decisions, we take control, we drive and have issues in letting go. This is not always a good thing. Traditional relationships and responsibilities have taken a back seat and disempowering genders causes problems.
The Surrendered Wife is about creating balance in a relationship. It's about ensuring a base for partners is a stable and satisfying one. By taking the chance to release control, a woman can step back from responsibilities. This in turn provides control to the man in the relationship. Letting go of the control puts the traditional role back with the traditional gender. This also provides an element of freedom.
The reduction of controlling behaviour only applies within the relationship. This enables life to continue, careers to be lifted and challenges faced. This book admits that we can't have it all by controlling it all. It allows us to focus and control in each element of our life except for our life-long partnership.
Realistically, this book talks about respect, taking care of oneself first, receiving gratefully, fostering friendships with women, expressing ones own desire, setting limits, admitting when hurt and listening for the message being said. It all sounds pretty simple, but even taking these things into a day will make a difference.
I don't know if this is the most appropriate title. Part of me thinks that the title should be more like "The Empowered Husband". While I don't think that I will be applying to become a surrendered wife (I am not married, not even engaged to be married), I understand the attraction of the theory.
The Empowered Husband would also empower the wife. This book is not about becoming a doormat. This book is about reducing nagging, asking for help and letting go of control.
As a girl child, we are brought up to become independent self-succicent woman. We are taught that we can have it all, that it is just ours for the taking. This works well when are are alone and need to be independent. This is the time when we need to be doing things for ourselves and making all decisions. We have control because we must have control as there is no one to share the responsibility with. As we continue to live, we learn to work for ourselves, to think and to decide all of the things that need deciding. The problems come when we are no longer alone.
When we are in a relationship things change. We continue the way we are. We make decisions, we take control, we drive and have issues in letting go. This is not always a good thing. Traditional relationships and responsibilities have taken a back seat and disempowering genders causes problems.
The Surrendered Wife is about creating balance in a relationship. It's about ensuring a base for partners is a stable and satisfying one. By taking the chance to release control, a woman can step back from responsibilities. This in turn provides control to the man in the relationship. Letting go of the control puts the traditional role back with the traditional gender. This also provides an element of freedom.
The reduction of controlling behaviour only applies within the relationship. This enables life to continue, careers to be lifted and challenges faced. This book admits that we can't have it all by controlling it all. It allows us to focus and control in each element of our life except for our life-long partnership.
Realistically, this book talks about respect, taking care of oneself first, receiving gratefully, fostering friendships with women, expressing ones own desire, setting limits, admitting when hurt and listening for the message being said. It all sounds pretty simple, but even taking these things into a day will make a difference.
"The Surrendered Wife"
Well, time for a new tact. I am reading "The Surrendered Wife". Why? I don't know. Although, I think that there may be a heap of incorrect hype around this book. It does not seem (30 pages into the book) to be about surrender. It seems to be more about trust, and through trusting a partner. This then inspires/encourges them to be more because they want to be more to reward that trust.
I'll report back, but as I am a bit of a control freak, I believe that I need to trust more. Time will tell.
I'll report back, but as I am a bit of a control freak, I believe that I need to trust more. Time will tell.
Love
I believe that we get the love we think that we deserve.
I believe that this is true in all things. Things with lovers, with family and with friends.
Tonight I am going to ensure that some of those I love understand that I expect more from them, that I deserve more from them and that I am not going to settle for less.
There are some who give us more love then we expect, more love then we deserve. These are the people that we need to cling to. These are the people that we need to love in kind.
I believe that this is true in all things. Things with lovers, with family and with friends.
Tonight I am going to ensure that some of those I love understand that I expect more from them, that I deserve more from them and that I am not going to settle for less.
There are some who give us more love then we expect, more love then we deserve. These are the people that we need to cling to. These are the people that we need to love in kind.
WOW
Wow
It's been almost 2 months since I have made an entry. I have often felt the need to express my thoughts and feelings, but a lot of things are better left unsaid and a lot of things have changed in the last couple of months.
I've changed jobs and I've hooked up with my Ex. All in the last month, actually, all of this change has happened within the last 2 weeks.
Let's start on the new job... I have been bored for a little while at my old job. I was tired with pushing people to help me advance. I was tired with being told no or not now or later. I was tired of being a no one who cared too much doing things that few recognised. An old work collegue asked me for my resume, insisting that there was nothing was sure, but there was a job she knew I could do and thought that I would enjoy. I sent the resume and then had a period of mad rushes for interviews during cancelled work holidays and then the longest moments of nothingness. In the end after 2 interviews and 3 phone calls I was offered a new job, with a new company. I have a lot to offer, but the things that I will learn far outway the risk. After almost 10 years I said goodbye to the company, and a lot of the people I had worked with over this time and hello to something new.
Hooking up with the Ex... Well, between the old job and the new job I went home to visit the fam and the friends. It was a whirlwind holiday, but I made a point of meeting up with the ex. I needed to see him. My feelings, even after many tormented nights and extended conversations and blogs, had not moved on. So I decided that I needed to confront this things head on. When life is in change, more change is less intimidating. So we caught up for a late night coffee and then started talking about all the things that needed to be said. Little has changed. He is still going to need to be there and I am not prepared to move. I still want to be down here and he is not prepared to move. This means that we are going to try to have an exclusive relationship, long distance without being obsessive about each other. We will visit each other every so often, talk every now and then and email occasionally. Hopefully one day we will be able to be together. I know, I know. It's strange and non-conventional, but I want to be with him.
Anyway, I should go and do stuff.
Will post again soon.
It's been almost 2 months since I have made an entry. I have often felt the need to express my thoughts and feelings, but a lot of things are better left unsaid and a lot of things have changed in the last couple of months.
I've changed jobs and I've hooked up with my Ex. All in the last month, actually, all of this change has happened within the last 2 weeks.
Let's start on the new job... I have been bored for a little while at my old job. I was tired with pushing people to help me advance. I was tired with being told no or not now or later. I was tired of being a no one who cared too much doing things that few recognised. An old work collegue asked me for my resume, insisting that there was nothing was sure, but there was a job she knew I could do and thought that I would enjoy. I sent the resume and then had a period of mad rushes for interviews during cancelled work holidays and then the longest moments of nothingness. In the end after 2 interviews and 3 phone calls I was offered a new job, with a new company. I have a lot to offer, but the things that I will learn far outway the risk. After almost 10 years I said goodbye to the company, and a lot of the people I had worked with over this time and hello to something new.
Hooking up with the Ex... Well, between the old job and the new job I went home to visit the fam and the friends. It was a whirlwind holiday, but I made a point of meeting up with the ex. I needed to see him. My feelings, even after many tormented nights and extended conversations and blogs, had not moved on. So I decided that I needed to confront this things head on. When life is in change, more change is less intimidating. So we caught up for a late night coffee and then started talking about all the things that needed to be said. Little has changed. He is still going to need to be there and I am not prepared to move. I still want to be down here and he is not prepared to move. This means that we are going to try to have an exclusive relationship, long distance without being obsessive about each other. We will visit each other every so often, talk every now and then and email occasionally. Hopefully one day we will be able to be together. I know, I know. It's strange and non-conventional, but I want to be with him.
Anyway, I should go and do stuff.
Will post again soon.
To tell or not to tell
Sometimes to get something new, you must give up something old. Although I have known this forever, I never really admitted the truth of this. I've been holding on to the love that I have felt for you. I thought that you are the person that I was meant to be with. I thought that you were my soul mate. I have said that we would never be together again. I have said that to myself a million times and to others when they had asked. I have said this even when I did not believe that it was true.
I am now ready to give it all up. I once told you that I believed that we would be together one day when the weather was fine. I am no longer strong enough to hold on to this belief. I am tired of waiting, tired of longing and I can't do it any longer.
I always prided myself on honesty, but I have been dishonest with you and with myself. I told myself that I just wanted to be friends with you. That I just wanted to see that you were doing well. The truth was I still loved you. I always had and feared that I always would. I wanted to ask you if there was any chance for us to be together. I wanted to ask and for you to tell me yes or no. But I never asked. If you had said yes, I would have been scared and lost. If you had said no, I would have be sad and lost.
I have spent a significant amount of my life deluding myself. I don't know why we broke up. I had a large amount of impact into this, but I didn't understand my part. I didn't understand what I needed to do to improve me. I didn't know what I could have done to stop it. I thought that if I did what you wanted, I would be what you wanted. I was not...
I wanted to ask you if you ever thought about how life could have been if we had made different decisions. I had thought about us being together. I wondered if we were together still would you be down here, studying to become a teacher at Monash, living with me, loving with me, learning with me. Together. Maybe I would have moved back to Queensland. Maybe maybe maybe.
I still thought about us. I thought about the things that we did. I thought about the places we had been, the meals that we had shared and the memories we'd created. I missed you. I missed the scent of you, the feel of you and the taste of you. I missed sharing my life with you, my triumphs and tragedies. I missed curling up into you and waking up with you. I missed the way that you made me feel when we were together. I missed the excitement that you brought to my life. I missed your voice and the lectures that you'd always give. I missed kissing you, loving you and holding you. I felt that I couldn't give up on us because I didn't know if I'd given 100% of me to us. I didn't know if you'd given 100% either. I questioned if I held back because you held back. Maybe we were both concerned with being hurt and focused on protecting ourselves. Maybe this ensured that we were hurt because we could do nothing but fail.
I longed for your touch, for your taste, for you. I missed dressing for you, I missed impressing you, I missed surprising you. I have been jealous of things and of people and wished myself with you. I cannot afford to be jealous of a life and of a love that I don't have. I can't look at pictures and long myself there. Through various decisions we have both chosen to not be with each other. These decisions may have been based on pride, on protection, on fear. It doesn't matter what made them, all that matters is that they existed.
I no longer will allow myself to think about it.
I was worthy of your love. I was not deserving of the things that happened. I did not deserve to have my heart broken by you twice. I should not have let you do it. I am the person that I am today because of it. To date, I have not learnt from my mistakes. This changes now.
I was worthy of your love and I am worthy of love in my future. I deserve to have someone to spend my life with. I deserve happiness. I am not going out looking for it, but I will no longer hold myself back from it. To find something new, I must give up something old. I will never stop loving you, but I can no longer afford to hold your love in my hands. With my hands full, I cannot reach out to find new love. I can still love you but can no longer be in love with you.
I will forever be thankful for your love. I will forever remember the times we had, and the things that we did. You did not want to be my love and I will no longer hold on to a love that is not wanted. Now it is time to break my promise to love you forever. I don't want to be alone any more. I don't want to be lonely and if I can't be with you then I must be with someone else. Many years have passed since I thought of myself as free. For years I have always wanted you, even when I would not admit it. I cannot keep dreaming of something that will not come true. I cannot and it hurts to give up on something that has been my everything. I need to exist outside of all of this. I need to find someone who wants to be with me, I need to find someone who wants to build a future. One day I want to be married and to have children. I want to find my someone to grow old with, someone who will share my triumphs and my tragedies.
I hope that we will still be friends but I cannot continue to believe in the dream that you will love me as I need to be loved. I have lost too much already.
I am now ready to give it all up. I once told you that I believed that we would be together one day when the weather was fine. I am no longer strong enough to hold on to this belief. I am tired of waiting, tired of longing and I can't do it any longer.
I always prided myself on honesty, but I have been dishonest with you and with myself. I told myself that I just wanted to be friends with you. That I just wanted to see that you were doing well. The truth was I still loved you. I always had and feared that I always would. I wanted to ask you if there was any chance for us to be together. I wanted to ask and for you to tell me yes or no. But I never asked. If you had said yes, I would have been scared and lost. If you had said no, I would have be sad and lost.
I have spent a significant amount of my life deluding myself. I don't know why we broke up. I had a large amount of impact into this, but I didn't understand my part. I didn't understand what I needed to do to improve me. I didn't know what I could have done to stop it. I thought that if I did what you wanted, I would be what you wanted. I was not...
I wanted to ask you if you ever thought about how life could have been if we had made different decisions. I had thought about us being together. I wondered if we were together still would you be down here, studying to become a teacher at Monash, living with me, loving with me, learning with me. Together. Maybe I would have moved back to Queensland. Maybe maybe maybe.
I still thought about us. I thought about the things that we did. I thought about the places we had been, the meals that we had shared and the memories we'd created. I missed you. I missed the scent of you, the feel of you and the taste of you. I missed sharing my life with you, my triumphs and tragedies. I missed curling up into you and waking up with you. I missed the way that you made me feel when we were together. I missed the excitement that you brought to my life. I missed your voice and the lectures that you'd always give. I missed kissing you, loving you and holding you. I felt that I couldn't give up on us because I didn't know if I'd given 100% of me to us. I didn't know if you'd given 100% either. I questioned if I held back because you held back. Maybe we were both concerned with being hurt and focused on protecting ourselves. Maybe this ensured that we were hurt because we could do nothing but fail.
I longed for your touch, for your taste, for you. I missed dressing for you, I missed impressing you, I missed surprising you. I have been jealous of things and of people and wished myself with you. I cannot afford to be jealous of a life and of a love that I don't have. I can't look at pictures and long myself there. Through various decisions we have both chosen to not be with each other. These decisions may have been based on pride, on protection, on fear. It doesn't matter what made them, all that matters is that they existed.
I no longer will allow myself to think about it.
I was worthy of your love. I was not deserving of the things that happened. I did not deserve to have my heart broken by you twice. I should not have let you do it. I am the person that I am today because of it. To date, I have not learnt from my mistakes. This changes now.
I was worthy of your love and I am worthy of love in my future. I deserve to have someone to spend my life with. I deserve happiness. I am not going out looking for it, but I will no longer hold myself back from it. To find something new, I must give up something old. I will never stop loving you, but I can no longer afford to hold your love in my hands. With my hands full, I cannot reach out to find new love. I can still love you but can no longer be in love with you.
I will forever be thankful for your love. I will forever remember the times we had, and the things that we did. You did not want to be my love and I will no longer hold on to a love that is not wanted. Now it is time to break my promise to love you forever. I don't want to be alone any more. I don't want to be lonely and if I can't be with you then I must be with someone else. Many years have passed since I thought of myself as free. For years I have always wanted you, even when I would not admit it. I cannot keep dreaming of something that will not come true. I cannot and it hurts to give up on something that has been my everything. I need to exist outside of all of this. I need to find someone who wants to be with me, I need to find someone who wants to build a future. One day I want to be married and to have children. I want to find my someone to grow old with, someone who will share my triumphs and my tragedies.
I hope that we will still be friends but I cannot continue to believe in the dream that you will love me as I need to be loved. I have lost too much already.
Demand nothing and give all.
Failure is an opportunity. If you blame others, there is no end to blame. Fulfill your obligations, correct your mistakes. Do what you need to do and step away. Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
Demand nothing and give all. Demand nothing and give all.
do and you won't
Stand on your toes and you won't stand firm. Rush ahead and you won't go far. Try to shine and you'll extinguish your light. Try to define yourself and you won't know who you are.
with and without
Act without doing, work without effort, thikn of the large as small and the many as few. Confront the difficult while it is easy, accomplish the great one step at a time. Don't reach and you will find, if you run into trouble throw yourself toward it. Don't cling to comfort and everything will be comfortable.
Earth, Fire, Wind and Water.
Be as careful as crossing frozen water, alert as a warrior on enemy ground. Be as courteous as a Guest, as fluid as a stream. BGe as shapeable as a block of wood, as receptive as a glass. Don't seek and don't expect. Be patient and wait until your mud settles and your water is clear. Be patient and wait. Your mud will settle. Your water will clear.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)