In summary - an interesting book with good basic ideas for a smooth relationship. A provocative title which is the only reason that I picked it up off of the shelf. A decent read with messages for a decent life.
I don't know if this is the most appropriate title. Part of me thinks that the title should be more like "The Empowered Husband". While I don't think that I will be applying to become a surrendered wife (I am not married, not even engaged to be married), I understand the attraction of the theory.
The Empowered Husband would also empower the wife. This book is not about becoming a doormat. This book is about reducing nagging, asking for help and letting go of control.
As a girl child, we are brought up to become independent self-succicent woman. We are taught that we can have it all, that it is just ours for the taking. This works well when are are alone and need to be independent. This is the time when we need to be doing things for ourselves and making all decisions. We have control because we must have control as there is no one to share the responsibility with. As we continue to live, we learn to work for ourselves, to think and to decide all of the things that need deciding. The problems come when we are no longer alone.
When we are in a relationship things change. We continue the way we are. We make decisions, we take control, we drive and have issues in letting go. This is not always a good thing. Traditional relationships and responsibilities have taken a back seat and disempowering genders causes problems.
The Surrendered Wife is about creating balance in a relationship. It's about ensuring a base for partners is a stable and satisfying one. By taking the chance to release control, a woman can step back from responsibilities. This in turn provides control to the man in the relationship. Letting go of the control puts the traditional role back with the traditional gender. This also provides an element of freedom.
The reduction of controlling behaviour only applies within the relationship. This enables life to continue, careers to be lifted and challenges faced. This book admits that we can't have it all by controlling it all. It allows us to focus and control in each element of our life except for our life-long partnership.
Realistically, this book talks about respect, taking care of oneself first, receiving gratefully, fostering friendships with women, expressing ones own desire, setting limits, admitting when hurt and listening for the message being said. It all sounds pretty simple, but even taking these things into a day will make a difference.