I have spent a large amount of time with childhood friends in the last couple of days. It is interesting for me to see the difference between some of these friendships.
With some friends, all we cover is out memories from the past. It's about who we were, what we did and all the things we dreamt of. The laughs are still sweet, but there is no future in the friendship. The friendship is bound only by memories of the past.
There are also the friendships that are about the things that we have in common. This kind of friendships combines the past and parts of the present. The future is unknown, and as each of us changes, it is likely that the friendship will become a friendship of memories of the past.
There are other friendships that remain the same as they always were. There is good hearted arguements, heaps of teasing and laughter. These friendships touch on the past, on the present and on the future. They cover the things that we remember, the things that we have in common and the things that we disagree on. These are the friendships that are comfortable as they are. Months and years can pass without catching up, but when you see that other person nothing has changed. These friendships bring out the best of what I used to be, the best of what I am now and shine a light on who I am going to be in the future.
I am lucky to have childhood friends who mostly fall into the last category. I saw a friend who falls into the first and have friends that I'll see later this week that fall into the second.
Last night, I spent some time with my honourary cousin, her husband and my honourary Aunt and Uncle. These people are not related to me, but they share a bond and a love that makes them family. Aunty L and Uncle D are some of Mum and Dad's closest friends who have been around since before Mum and Dad married, way before I was even born. I still call them Aunt and Uncle, and still love them dearly. I can't describe the fun that we had. It's a special mix, and these are special people. I love them dearly.
To childhood friends, honourary relatives and memories.
Holiday post 2
Well, this is the second post of my holidays.
Today my sister's friend CB and her children SD and ID came for lunch. Being Good Friday, Mum insisted that we not consume red flesh, so we had fish and prawns for lunch. I spent a number of hours nursing ID, a 8 month old little girl. I think that I'm starting to get the kid thing down pat. I also spend a few hours reading books and drawing with chalk on a black board with 3 year old SD.
Tomorrow is going to be fun. I'm making chocolate mouse (should be interesting) and then going to a park to play with various cousins children on swings and slides and the such. Last time my sister NK made one of the youngesters throw up. It's going to be hard to top that effort.
I am starting to get family overload, and am glad that on Tuesday that I'm going to the coast for a little R and R.
I'm starting to realise that there are times when I risk becoming an empty shell of a woman. At times my dreams are so far from possibility that it scares me. If in 2 years I find that I am where I am now, I will not be impressed. It may end up being the case that my goals are not achieved, but I have exceeded at procrastination. I should just move on to the next step, I already have procrastination down pat, and need to start on a new challenge.
I hope that you each take some time and spend some part of tomorrow in the fresh air and sunshine.
Today my sister's friend CB and her children SD and ID came for lunch. Being Good Friday, Mum insisted that we not consume red flesh, so we had fish and prawns for lunch. I spent a number of hours nursing ID, a 8 month old little girl. I think that I'm starting to get the kid thing down pat. I also spend a few hours reading books and drawing with chalk on a black board with 3 year old SD.
Tomorrow is going to be fun. I'm making chocolate mouse (should be interesting) and then going to a park to play with various cousins children on swings and slides and the such. Last time my sister NK made one of the youngesters throw up. It's going to be hard to top that effort.
I am starting to get family overload, and am glad that on Tuesday that I'm going to the coast for a little R and R.
I'm starting to realise that there are times when I risk becoming an empty shell of a woman. At times my dreams are so far from possibility that it scares me. If in 2 years I find that I am where I am now, I will not be impressed. It may end up being the case that my goals are not achieved, but I have exceeded at procrastination. I should just move on to the next step, I already have procrastination down pat, and need to start on a new challenge.
I hope that you each take some time and spend some part of tomorrow in the fresh air and sunshine.
The start of my holidays
I've just come back from a couple of days at the coast. I've had a really good time with a KC and her baby girl TC. TC is so cute, while I'm not hugely liked by a number of babies, but TC was quite happy to play with me. Towards the end of the 3 days she would come to me and giggle when I tickled her, which was a nice change from the usual crying that I seem to inspire in children.
This morning I have been at gallery helping my sister and her boss hang artwork. I was given the role of lighting because I am fairly tall and rarely had to use the step ladder. There are some really interesting pieces. My favourite is a 2 picture peice. The first picture has an old man in the foreground and a girl in a boat in the background. The second picture has an old lady. The old man is in the left looking across at the boat and the old woman is in the second image. It is drawn in simple pencil, but has great detail and texture. I would like to buy something like that. It could have been anybody's granddad, anybody's grandma and any girl sitting in the picture. Obviously they were the artist and her grandparents, but it was lovely.
When the gallery hanging was complete, we meet a cousin's husband for lunch. A nice pub meal, good conversation and a couple of relatively quiet pints or schooners as they are here. I always get confused.
In the afternoon, I came home to the parents house and watched the performance of my brother making coleslaw. I don't think that it could have been made any harder or any funnier by anyone. He's a disaster, but at least he's an amusing disaster. He had invited all of his mates around for dinner, and was going to fire up the bbq. I don't know how he does it, but he talks quickly when he is sober. After a few drinks he talks at supersonic speeds, slowing down two words before each breath. He has to repeat everything 8 times before he is understood. It's amusing and annoying at the same time.
I've now got to organise meeting up with my friends so that we can all get together before I go home. It should be fun, but it is always hard to find time when everyone is free as some of them work rotating shifts. Ah well. Here's hoping it all happens.
I hope that everyone is having a great easter. May you eat easter eggs until you want to throw up.
This morning I have been at gallery helping my sister and her boss hang artwork. I was given the role of lighting because I am fairly tall and rarely had to use the step ladder. There are some really interesting pieces. My favourite is a 2 picture peice. The first picture has an old man in the foreground and a girl in a boat in the background. The second picture has an old lady. The old man is in the left looking across at the boat and the old woman is in the second image. It is drawn in simple pencil, but has great detail and texture. I would like to buy something like that. It could have been anybody's granddad, anybody's grandma and any girl sitting in the picture. Obviously they were the artist and her grandparents, but it was lovely.
When the gallery hanging was complete, we meet a cousin's husband for lunch. A nice pub meal, good conversation and a couple of relatively quiet pints or schooners as they are here. I always get confused.
In the afternoon, I came home to the parents house and watched the performance of my brother making coleslaw. I don't think that it could have been made any harder or any funnier by anyone. He's a disaster, but at least he's an amusing disaster. He had invited all of his mates around for dinner, and was going to fire up the bbq. I don't know how he does it, but he talks quickly when he is sober. After a few drinks he talks at supersonic speeds, slowing down two words before each breath. He has to repeat everything 8 times before he is understood. It's amusing and annoying at the same time.
I've now got to organise meeting up with my friends so that we can all get together before I go home. It should be fun, but it is always hard to find time when everyone is free as some of them work rotating shifts. Ah well. Here's hoping it all happens.
I hope that everyone is having a great easter. May you eat easter eggs until you want to throw up.
So it is happening
I am now on holidays. I am packed and ready to go. I'm driving to the airport at some ungodly hour tomorrow, leaving the car there for 3 weeks while I go and enjoy the sunshine.
If I don't blog regularly, it's because I am away and may not be able to draw myself away from the beach, from family and from friends.
Be safe and good.
If I don't blog regularly, it's because I am away and may not be able to draw myself away from the beach, from family and from friends.
Be safe and good.
Learning New Things
Tonight was the night for learning new things and remembering the learning of new things.
The new things that I tried tonight were a scotch liquer which is interesting because I don't really like scotch, or thought that I did not like scotch. Maybe it was drinking too much when I was too young to appreciate it. I like the warmth that it created in the centre of my chest, heating me up on this night that was so cool.
Another new thing that I tried was talking to the ex. Although we have spent a few emails and had very brief conversations, tonight I had to call to get someone to help me set up a wireless network in my home. You know how it is, when in part you want to ask questions to see how the person on the other end of the phone is going. You want to know of their failures and their successes, the small wins that they remember and the things that make you smile. I need to learn how to deal with the uncomfortable silence on the other end when he wants to ask more, where he wants to know more, but he knows that he has no right to ask those questions and no right to seek those answers.
I went of for dinner with a friend. We had Vietnamese, and a big bowl of Pho to warm us up on this cold night. I was thanking him for introducing me to the experience of Vietnamese food, to Pho, to rice paper rolls with their fantastic dipping sauce and to tiny tasty spring rolls piping hot with the cool crisp lettuce, tanging mint leaves and that sauce with the grated carrot and chilli bits.
What more could a girl ask for on a cold and blustery Wednesday night? Good conversation, good friends, good food.
Life is good. New things add a sparkle to the gold.
The new things that I tried tonight were a scotch liquer which is interesting because I don't really like scotch, or thought that I did not like scotch. Maybe it was drinking too much when I was too young to appreciate it. I like the warmth that it created in the centre of my chest, heating me up on this night that was so cool.
Another new thing that I tried was talking to the ex. Although we have spent a few emails and had very brief conversations, tonight I had to call to get someone to help me set up a wireless network in my home. You know how it is, when in part you want to ask questions to see how the person on the other end of the phone is going. You want to know of their failures and their successes, the small wins that they remember and the things that make you smile. I need to learn how to deal with the uncomfortable silence on the other end when he wants to ask more, where he wants to know more, but he knows that he has no right to ask those questions and no right to seek those answers.
I went of for dinner with a friend. We had Vietnamese, and a big bowl of Pho to warm us up on this cold night. I was thanking him for introducing me to the experience of Vietnamese food, to Pho, to rice paper rolls with their fantastic dipping sauce and to tiny tasty spring rolls piping hot with the cool crisp lettuce, tanging mint leaves and that sauce with the grated carrot and chilli bits.
What more could a girl ask for on a cold and blustery Wednesday night? Good conversation, good friends, good food.
Life is good. New things add a sparkle to the gold.
Discovering what it's really about
Life seems to be made up of so many parts. Each of these parts at different times have different levels of importance. From one moment to another these priorities may change.
Often you don't value what you have until it is gone. And then it seems that you never will be as blessed as what you once were. Losing a little can make you stronger. Losing a lot can make you weak or reckless or hopeless or cruel.
It's like the greener grass on the other side of the fence, often when you climb the fence and step onto the other side, it is not greener at all. It's just that the different weeds have a different hue of green. Up close you see that the weeds are still weeds.
From a distance, a broken window is a broken window. Up close you can see that the window was broken to let the light in, to set something free, or to break the cloying odour that lingers in the air. From a distance the story that you see may not be what really is. Another way to say that ones trash is anothers treasure.
Today you don't always realise that manners are missing until manners are shown. You don't know that human kindness has been hidden until someone displays human kindness to a stranger. You don't realise you crave to be touched, until someone's warm hand rests on your shoulder. You don't see the things that you have until you see the things that another does not.
Bright before us the future is unfolding. Unfolding as something great and with endless possibilities. I want to find out what it is about for me, for those I love and for the strangers who one day may become my friend. I need to discover what it's really about. What is my destiny?
Often you don't value what you have until it is gone. And then it seems that you never will be as blessed as what you once were. Losing a little can make you stronger. Losing a lot can make you weak or reckless or hopeless or cruel.
It's like the greener grass on the other side of the fence, often when you climb the fence and step onto the other side, it is not greener at all. It's just that the different weeds have a different hue of green. Up close you see that the weeds are still weeds.
From a distance, a broken window is a broken window. Up close you can see that the window was broken to let the light in, to set something free, or to break the cloying odour that lingers in the air. From a distance the story that you see may not be what really is. Another way to say that ones trash is anothers treasure.
Today you don't always realise that manners are missing until manners are shown. You don't know that human kindness has been hidden until someone displays human kindness to a stranger. You don't realise you crave to be touched, until someone's warm hand rests on your shoulder. You don't see the things that you have until you see the things that another does not.
Bright before us the future is unfolding. Unfolding as something great and with endless possibilities. I want to find out what it is about for me, for those I love and for the strangers who one day may become my friend. I need to discover what it's really about. What is my destiny?
Forgiven
I was searching for songs by voices that I like... so I was nearing the end of the voices that I like when I remember Jonatha Brooke from the CD Plumb. So by chance I typed her name into a MP3 search engine and found a song by a musician called Chris Botti featuring Jonatha Brooke. I purchased it and have been listening endlessly to it today. I like this song, and hope that my neighbours do to, because they have been forced to listen...
It's called Forgiven
Every night, all the years are passing through me
Was I wrong
Cause when you find out
Love is blind then it's too late
You can't do anything
Cause these are the chances that we take
For reasons that we can't explain
Follow your heart everyday
Pray to be forgiven
Don't let go
Until all your days are broken
We were one
Now I'm standing
In the rain and you were gone
I gave up everything
Cause these are the chances we take
For reasons that we can't explain
Follow your heart everyday
Pray to be forgiven
I want to talk to you
What can I say to you
These are the chances we take
For reasons that we can't explain
Follow your heart everyday
Pray to be forgiven
These are the chances we take
For reasons that we can't explain
Follow your heart everyday
Pray to be forgiven
Pray to be forgiven
Pray to be forgiven
I want to talk to you
What can I say to you
I want to talk to you
So I can be forgiven
It's called Forgiven
Every night, all the years are passing through me
Was I wrong
Cause when you find out
Love is blind then it's too late
You can't do anything
Cause these are the chances that we take
For reasons that we can't explain
Follow your heart everyday
Pray to be forgiven
Don't let go
Until all your days are broken
We were one
Now I'm standing
In the rain and you were gone
I gave up everything
Cause these are the chances we take
For reasons that we can't explain
Follow your heart everyday
Pray to be forgiven
I want to talk to you
What can I say to you
These are the chances we take
For reasons that we can't explain
Follow your heart everyday
Pray to be forgiven
These are the chances we take
For reasons that we can't explain
Follow your heart everyday
Pray to be forgiven
Pray to be forgiven
Pray to be forgiven
I want to talk to you
What can I say to you
I want to talk to you
So I can be forgiven
Life is all about change
I went to a friends going away party tonight. It was all just a little bit blah.
Life is all about change. At times we get to choose the change, at times the changes are forced upon us. The things that happen, the scenery we pass is the things that makes life interesting. Sometimes the destination become less important as the detours take over.
These detours show us who we are. These are where the challenges lie. The detours are the things that we cannot plan for. If we could plan for them we never would do them. Some of the best detours that I have had are things that I would never have attempted if I was not placed in a position where I had a choice.
Detours not only challenge us. They also show us so many things. Pretty scenes, interesting people, new places.
Some detours last minutes and sometimes you never arrive at the planned destination.
Some of my most favourite people, and most memorable moments occurred on a detour, as an indirect and pleasant result of change.
Life is all about change. At times we get to choose the change, at times the changes are forced upon us. The things that happen, the scenery we pass is the things that makes life interesting. Sometimes the destination become less important as the detours take over.
These detours show us who we are. These are where the challenges lie. The detours are the things that we cannot plan for. If we could plan for them we never would do them. Some of the best detours that I have had are things that I would never have attempted if I was not placed in a position where I had a choice.
Detours not only challenge us. They also show us so many things. Pretty scenes, interesting people, new places.
Some detours last minutes and sometimes you never arrive at the planned destination.
Some of my most favourite people, and most memorable moments occurred on a detour, as an indirect and pleasant result of change.
In one weeks time
In one weeks time, I am no longer going to be living alone.
In one weeks time, I am going to have a flat mate.
In one weeks time, I am sure my life will be different.
In one weeks time, my life will have more balance.
In one weeks time, I won't always eat my own cooking.
In one weeks time, I am going to be sharing a bathroom.
In one weeks time, I will annoy and be annoyed at home.
In one weeks time, I will have someone to drink with.
In one weeks time...
I'm looking forward to it.
In one weeks time, I am going to have a flat mate.
In one weeks time, I am sure my life will be different.
In one weeks time, my life will have more balance.
In one weeks time, I won't always eat my own cooking.
In one weeks time, I am going to be sharing a bathroom.
In one weeks time, I will annoy and be annoyed at home.
In one weeks time, I will have someone to drink with.
In one weeks time...
I'm looking forward to it.
I have a stationery fasination
It was so sad when I worked in a stationery supply store. I love stationery. I love it so much that I purchase too much. I have to hold myself back from buying all the cool things that would either make my life easier. I cannot resist things that make my work pretty.
I like to write with pens that are not blue or black, pink or purple are cool choices.
I like to fasten my paper with clips of pink or blue or yellow or white or red, not boring silver staples or black fold back clips.
I like nice paper, thick paper, rich paper.
I like notebooks with interesting covers full of colour and other interesting bits and peices.
I like coloured texters, of different shapes and thicknesses.
I like multiple highlighters of various shades.
I like post it notes that have interesting shapes, interesting textures or interesting colours.
I like writing paper that is crisp, not too girly.
I like envelops that match.
Ah, I'm so glad that I no longer like work in a stationery store and so is my wallet.
It's plan and simple. I like stuff. No I love stuff... what about you?
I like to write with pens that are not blue or black, pink or purple are cool choices.
I like to fasten my paper with clips of pink or blue or yellow or white or red, not boring silver staples or black fold back clips.
I like nice paper, thick paper, rich paper.
I like notebooks with interesting covers full of colour and other interesting bits and peices.
I like coloured texters, of different shapes and thicknesses.
I like multiple highlighters of various shades.
I like post it notes that have interesting shapes, interesting textures or interesting colours.
I like writing paper that is crisp, not too girly.
I like envelops that match.
Ah, I'm so glad that I no longer like work in a stationery store and so is my wallet.
It's plan and simple. I like stuff. No I love stuff... what about you?
Sunday Night Nothings
I've got a case of the Sunday Night Nothings. There are so many things that I have to do, and nothing that I am doing. There are so many things that I should have done, that I never did. There are so many things that I must do tomorrow, that I am not going to get them all done.
Ah well such is life. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my Sunday night. I'm going to enjoy the cool air that is falling through the window.
Hope that you do too.
Ah well such is life. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my Sunday night. I'm going to enjoy the cool air that is falling through the window.
Hope that you do too.
Just thought that I would let you know
Today is a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, there is a breeze blowing. Last week I was wearing a coat and hoping that winter would never come.
Today I am wearing a singlet and cargo's and doing what needs to be done.
As I sit here, through the window I see the shadow that the tree out the front is making on the wall, and am watching the waving arms of the native shrub in the garden proudly displaying the white clusters of soft flowers that have surprising sprung free.
There are days when I hate living in Melbourne, because the weather is so changing. Today is one of those days that I rejoice.
It's the weather. It's my life. It's the freedom that I have. It's the music that is playing.
Life is good. And I hope that yours is too.
Today I am wearing a singlet and cargo's and doing what needs to be done.
As I sit here, through the window I see the shadow that the tree out the front is making on the wall, and am watching the waving arms of the native shrub in the garden proudly displaying the white clusters of soft flowers that have surprising sprung free.
There are days when I hate living in Melbourne, because the weather is so changing. Today is one of those days that I rejoice.
It's the weather. It's my life. It's the freedom that I have. It's the music that is playing.
Life is good. And I hope that yours is too.
Something to think about...
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgement, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
-- George Carlin
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
-- George Carlin
Other people's life
I was driving home today, and I came to the realisation that I make up lives for the people in the cars around me.
People who appear to be happy, who allow you in, who are generally polite are given lives that are fun and full.
People who cut me off, who can't drive and who don't smile are given the lives that are busy and rushed and stressed.
I know that my mum makes up stories of where people are going and what they are doing... 3 white cars following eachother are on their way to the same wedding... it does not matter that they take different exits off of the highway... for that moment in time, they had what my mother said they did.
I wonder what other people think when they observe others.
What kind of life do others give me?
What do you think of?
People who appear to be happy, who allow you in, who are generally polite are given lives that are fun and full.
People who cut me off, who can't drive and who don't smile are given the lives that are busy and rushed and stressed.
I know that my mum makes up stories of where people are going and what they are doing... 3 white cars following eachother are on their way to the same wedding... it does not matter that they take different exits off of the highway... for that moment in time, they had what my mother said they did.
I wonder what other people think when they observe others.
What kind of life do others give me?
What do you think of?
Listen
When I ask you to listen to me and you start to give me advice, you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I should not feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I ask is that you listen. Not talk or do - just hear me.
And I can DO for myself - I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me tha tI can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling. And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice.
So, please listen and just hear me, and if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn - and I'll listen to you.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I should not feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I ask is that you listen. Not talk or do - just hear me.
And I can DO for myself - I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me tha tI can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling. And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice.
So, please listen and just hear me, and if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn - and I'll listen to you.
Quotes I like
If facts are the seeds that later produce knowledge and wisdom, then the emotions and the impressions of the senses are the furtile soil in which the seeds must grow. Rachel L. Carson
Very little is needed to make a happy life... it is all within yourself in your way of thinking. Marcus Aurelius
Until I accept my faults, I will most certainly doubt my virtues. Hugh Prather
Each human being is born as something new, something that never existed before. He is born with what he needs to win at life. Each person in his own way can see, hear, touch, taste and think for himself. Each has his own unique potentials - his capabilities and limitations. Each can be a significant, thinking, aware, and creatively productive person in his own right - a winner. Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward
A New Day.
Today is a new day. You will get out of it just what you put into it. If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. And supposing you have tried and failed again, you may have a fresh start at any moment you choose, for this thing that we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down. Mary Pickford
Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it. Confucious
Leap of Faith.
The African Impala can jump to a height for over 10 feet and cover a distance of greater than 30 feet. Yet these magnificent creaturs can be kept in an enclosure in any zoo with a 3 foot fence. The animals will not jump if they cannot see where their feet will fall.
Faith is the ability to trust what we cannot see, and with faith we are freed from the flimsy enclosures of life that only fear allows to entrap us. Craig Larson
Very little is needed to make a happy life... it is all within yourself in your way of thinking. Marcus Aurelius
Until I accept my faults, I will most certainly doubt my virtues. Hugh Prather
Each human being is born as something new, something that never existed before. He is born with what he needs to win at life. Each person in his own way can see, hear, touch, taste and think for himself. Each has his own unique potentials - his capabilities and limitations. Each can be a significant, thinking, aware, and creatively productive person in his own right - a winner. Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward
A New Day.
Today is a new day. You will get out of it just what you put into it. If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. And supposing you have tried and failed again, you may have a fresh start at any moment you choose, for this thing that we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down. Mary Pickford
Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it. Confucious
Leap of Faith.
The African Impala can jump to a height for over 10 feet and cover a distance of greater than 30 feet. Yet these magnificent creaturs can be kept in an enclosure in any zoo with a 3 foot fence. The animals will not jump if they cannot see where their feet will fall.
Faith is the ability to trust what we cannot see, and with faith we are freed from the flimsy enclosures of life that only fear allows to entrap us. Craig Larson
The 6 Most Important Words
"I made a mistake. I'm sorry"
The 5 Most Important Words
"You did a great job"
The 4 Most Important Words
"What is your opinion?"
The 3 Most Important Words
"I love you"
The 2 Most Important Words
"Thank you"
The Least Important Word
"I"
Some things that would make all our lives better.
Love
Everyone need love whether they are right, wrong, happy, sad, pretty or plain. We all need to be loved "as is".
Respect
Respect
Treat everyone as a valued person. Let each make choices. Explain your decisions. Demonstrate confidence in their abilities.
Honesty
Everyone needs to know and trust others. Lies, half-truths and deceptions confuse.
Fairness
Everyone needs to know the rules and limits. They need to know these rules and limits will be enforced fairly and consistently.
Understanding
Everyone has the right to be understood. Listen to others. If you don't listen and learn, you will never understand.
Consistency
Behaviour should be consistent - the same today and tomorrow. Changing rules confuses people and makes them feel insecure.
Patience
It is to easy to expect too much. People need to be taught, told and shown... again and again...
Flexibilty
Everyone grows and changes. Be prepared to make personal adjustments to attitudes, rules, consequences and limits.
Acceptance
While behaviour may not alway be acceptable, people must always be accepted. Never reject purely because of poor behaviour.
Empathy
Try to feel what another feels, see things as another sees them, and understand things as another understands them.
Time
People need your attention and companionship. Make time to listen, learn, teach, play, read, watch and talk.
What I want right now...
I want to sit with my eyes closed and have someone else run their finger through my hair. To let it fall through their fingers. To slide their palms over my hair. To run their fingernails over my scalp. To massage my scalp. To softly comb my hair...
Maybe I will just spoil myself on the weekend and go and get a scalp massage... It's better when there is care there. It's better when you don't have to pay for the simplest pleasures...
Maybe I will just spoil myself on the weekend and go and get a scalp massage... It's better when there is care there. It's better when you don't have to pay for the simplest pleasures...
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